The title pretty much speaks for itself. Monday was better. The weekend wasn't that great. This is a little bit of self therapy so if you don't want to hear my ramblings, scroll down to the calorie count or just skip today. I had some family issues that I was emotional about all weekend and the focus slipped. I was also a little angry that I had to "watch what I ate" and that I had to be on a diet at all. I usually get that way when I get depressed or upset because I am used to dealing with it with food. But at least I had enough perspective and experience this weekend to pull myself out of it and understand that it's not helping anyone for me to stuff my face.
We went out to dinner on Friday night and I ate fries (which I haven't done in months) and we got ice cream after. The whole time I knew I would feel like crap after. But I did it anyways - justifying it the whole time. I told myself I had a really hard day and I DESERVED it. I have also been very good on my diet and I needed a reward. Well, I DID feel like crap and I was going about it all the wrong way.
The fact is, I DO believe I deserve ice cream every once in a while. However, I cannot eat it in a fit of rage or to help me feel better. I can eat it when I am in control of my emotions and therefore in control of my eating choices. I also believe rewarding myself with food is just as harmful as medicating myself with it.
Saturday and Sunday weren't much better. We ate pizza for lunch and McDonalds for dinner. On Sunday I made breakfast for dinner and ate way too much of it. So overall not great but all I can do is try to do better tomorrow.
Here is the breakdown for Monday (a better day):
Cereal w/ milk - 300
Chips - 300 (ouch)
Protein Shake - 160
Cookies - 300
Turkey Taco - 500
TOTAL - 1560
I did 2.5 miles on the treadmill and about 20 minutes of weights.
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2 comments:
it's hard to face it, i know! reality is so harsh i feel like! BUT, i'm feeling like it's good to realize why i eat what i do & when...how much control i really can have...like you said when you are in control it's better to eat the ice cream b/c you have control...that made so much sense to me! good for you to "start again." each day is a new day to work at it again, so way to bounce back! you're doing great! the important thing is that you are learning more about yourself & your body...keep up the good work & remember each day is a new day to get into it! i hope wednesday goes great for you!:)
Oh Nat... I love your honesty. I am not trying to pry, but what was going on this weekend?? I feel so bad. I hope my bad weekend didn't make your weekend bad as well. :( And if it wasn't that, and something else, then I feel bad that I was sitting there complaining about my issues and you were sad yourself! I love you so much. I feel so lucky to have you in my life. I just wanted you to know that. And that you are my daily inspiration. We miss you guys so much and can't wait to lay our skinny bodies out in the sun!! Keep up the good work! YOU ARE SO AWESOME!
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